Sex and Self Harm

Careful to wear baggy hoodies and sweatpants to avoid the attention of a man.  Head down, eyes low, and hair covering your face, the way society has taught women to behave. Hopefully he doesn’t think you’re pretty. But he does. And when he says so make sure to be polite and thank him. He smiles and asks for your number and of course you give it to him because……….And when he texts you and asks to come over at 1 am, say yes. You make sure to wear tight revealing clothes so he will think you’re worth……When he kisses you make sure to pretend you really do want more. And when his hands grip you, pray that he didn’t feel you flinch. When he removes your clothes hold your breath because he might actually realize you are there. Then when he tells you to turn over, get on your knees, and come closer, obey. And when he grabs hold of your shoulder to hold you in place, bite your lip to stop it from quivering. Remain silent until he is done with you. Wipe your face quick before he sees. You don’t want him to know you’re there. You don’t want him to see you as more than what you really are… BPD.

“I lost my virginity learning how to hurt myself with someone else’s body. What is assault if it is self inflicted? This illness was built on the same bones of misogyny that taught him it was okay to have sex with my dead body”  BPD by Coral More