Like Candle Wax

My heart is too full,

gushing, exploding with emotions

seeping out all the love my body produces for it.

My mind a factory of feelings:

machines running, running, running;

running fast like thoughts,

like candle wax dripping onto my skin.

It’s nice; but sometimes it hurts a lot.

Sometimes I think I can handle it,

but then my body is left with scars,

with these emotions burned into my skin:

some more permanent than others.

I try my best to shed my skin of the memories,

but when I think, I remember everything,

remember all the hurt.

And I go numb.

My heart is empty,

like suffocating lungs.

Uncomfortable.

Needing.

Panicking to be full.

I breathe: in and out, in and out, and

in and out: until I think my lungs are going to explode,

until my body refuses to stop shaking,

until I am curled up on the cold wooden floor,

tears gushing down my face,

seeping out all the pain my body loves to create.

My mind an unforgiving factory,

refusing to shut down when I beg it to.

It keeps running:

running, running, running,

like candle wax pouring onto my skin,

burning and scaring everything it touches.

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